Do you have perfectionist tendencies?

I would have never thought of myself as a perfectionist. I didn’t have any of the early “signs.” I didn’t stress over not getting straight A’s, I didn’t agonize about turning in less than perfect work at my job, I didn’t need to be the best athlete when I played sports.

But you know what I did need? The perfect body to attract that fantastic guy who was going to give me a storybook romance. I wanted that perfect job that was going to make me gobs of money so I could live in a beautiful house and give away tons of cash to charities I cared about. I needed to live in a vibrant city and travel to faraway places to feel like I was living life properly. And if I didn't have that...my life wasn't going as I wanted...and I was discontented.

So here's how you know if you have perfectionist tendencies too: If you spend more time thinking about how great life would be when... Because being where you are right now feels so painful.

But here’s the deal with spending your time in the future...when life will be amazing….you miss the life you are living right now. You miss being happy right now.

And the irony of the whole thing is that if you can’t be happy right now, you won’t be happy when you get there. Your motivation will be from getting out of this miserable place...it will come from hate and not acceptance or love.

And I know what you’re thinking, if you actually accept where you are right now, you might never change. I thought that too. But it’s actually the opposite. When you accept where you are, when you learn to love yourself (despite all “your flaws”), that is when it’s easier to change. That’s when change is long-lasting. Because the choices you make come from your own best interests. From taking care of yourself. For choosing the foods, the relationships, the jobs that fill you up/support you/nurture you. Not because you should look/earn/act in a way that society has deemed appropriate.

I'm not saying these thoughts don't still come up and cause me pain. But the intensity and frequency sure aren't there. I can feel the difference in my happiness and contentedness with my current life. And isn't that what we're all looking for...just a bit more happiness?!

And if you want to learn how to accept yourself right now, reach out, I can help!